Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Woo, Lailai had some talk for us today.
As always, hated the powerpoint. Nevertheless, the case study, so to speak, did get me thinking a little.
Like, maybe my problem is that I never had a clear vision, a totally confirmed idea of who I wanna be, how I wanna be like in a few years' time. Because I keep thinking that, well I'm certainly above average in various aspects, and that's about as good as it gets because if you wanna be the best, you really have to sweat. And I just wanna be successful and CHILL, enjoying the good life at easeee, taking my short-cuts.
But then maybe in life there are just no short-cuts.
And it's definitely not enough to me, for me,
just to be above average.
Anyways, like whateverrr.
Inspired by the recent Virginia shootings,
I watched Bowling For Columbine.
April 20, 1999, US dropped the most bombs ever into Kosovo.
An hour later, some 10 plus people were shot at Columbine High School.
And blah blah.
Hmmmmm,
I won't say I really know or grasp what that documentary is about.
The culture of fear, I believe mostly, but yeah.
I'm just sure everything in this world is kind of like multi-casual.
Butterfly effects. So what can an everyday average your typical friendly neighbourhood person do?
Whatever we can to make this world a better place,
with more rationality, more understanding, more logic, more compassion, more reason, more empathy, more concern, blah blah.
Point is our existence here on this Earth don't really matter,
unless you do what you have to do to make it some hell of a lavish affair.
And I'm gonna start thinking about how my life's gonna be like years down the road.
No matter how much booze you take, not that I take a lot,
how many acquaintances you meet casual friends you make,
tests you've failed, blah blah.
No matter how you wish you could have a great start ahead,
how envious you could be of others who practically took flight the moment they were borne, like they werent meant for great things, meant to be great; while the unlucky ones would always fall behind. No matter how you wish things could be different, no worries, no sweat, just chilling it out and riding high on cash and booze and all that material welfare all the same...
To me it's just like,
A Levels is that, make it or leave it.
Like what rested on that certificate is my one entire future.
That entrance into a sexy University is what separates a life of hope, of making dreams a reality and a life destined to be ordinary and boring.
But like whatever.
I know I'm great,
and I know everyone is great.
It's just that,
if you want to make it, you gotta sweat it more than anyone else.
I know I'm pretty sub-par when it comes to being hardworking, being consistent at work, being good friends with everybody, or even relating to the world at large.
But I know how I am and that's all cool and good.
Because if there's one thing I know about me,
I will never give up without a good fight.
And even if I fall I will never concede defeat, I'll pick myself up again, keep trying, or just find my alternative route.
When your life sucks everything kind of just boils down to being resilient and flexible.
And making the best out of it.
WHATEVERRRs lar.
I've got a lot more stuff to learn before I take on the real world and really grow up.
And I can't wait.
Because all men is borne in God's image, like WOO.
And we're our on God.
And we're all here to rock this world.
Well if life sucks the power is always in our hands to change it for the better.
Duh,
so much for my HUMAN=God. ((=
Just trying to clear some thoughts off my head.
Anyways, actually, finally found out today that turns out I couldn't go on the London trip afterall.
Not enough cash on hand,
and face it, like anyone's printing enough money to spare a few thousand for some kid's trip to the UK.
I could always see it coming,
actually, so I was like: No sweat. If I couldn't go now, I'll go on my own, much better.
You know how people worry about terrorists when there is so much pollution in the air and we couldn't even see it,
and then we worry about environmental degradation so much when poverty is killing millions and billions on the streets.
So I'm like,
WHATEVERRR!
If something ain't hard,
you wouldn't feel as much thrill and exhilaration fighting your guts out for it.
Well,
someday the whole world is gonna bow to the Great me,
I so know it, figuratively lar.
If there's one thing I seriously modestly would love to change about myself,
it would be some sort of arrognance I think I have when I should not have but it's just part of me somehow.
I think it's all thanks to my conditioned into: Enjiao you are smart. Or, smarter than you know, most people. Like from birth the people around me kind of fed me that,
so I could not get it out of my system even if people's scores could be double/ triple/ etc. of mine.
I'm just like,
whatever! I'm smart and that speaks for itself.
U doesn't mean anything except that I seriously don't give a shit about my studies,
at the moment of taking the test/ exam.
Ok this post is getting painfully looong,
but like I said I'm just clearing some thoughts off my head.
Like whateverrr,
I know I'm not perfect.
But that's all cool and good, because I'll have a lot of rooms for improvement to be a better person.
WORK HARD FOR A LEVELS!
;rock YOU.
9:30 PM
