Sunday, March 25, 2007
Today just so seemed to be marked out for sadness.
First I was semi-conscious of this really sad dream that totally made me feel as though,
life would never be the same again. (EEW this sounds corny.)
我想,真的是日有所思,
夜有所夢吧.
越害怕失去,
越捨不得,
就會心痛得越清晰.
甚至連我最吝嗇的眼淚都無私地奉獻了.
不過是個夢,
啊---值得嗎?至於嗎???
我納悶.
我無語.
然後這一生最讓我惱火的事莫過於想吃蘿蔔糕,
跋涉千里只得到一句:下次來早點.
轉個轉歌想聽個搖滾的,
把耳膜憾破.
卻被一把很熟悉的旋律吸引,
然後感傷無盡蔓延.
I didn't know her voice could sound so nice, so saddening, on a ballad, through my mp3. =__=
我做人容易嗎我?
It seemed like I've done quite a lot of things ever since the tests ended,
but then maybe I didn't. Because I didn't feel the existing.
As in,
like somehow I was really somewhere else.
I'm moving mechanically,
but I'm really not here.
It's just an ephemeral thing.
Like how you'd get lost in a moment.
Like when you look at somebody's eyes,
somebody's smile. And you realise that all the life you had before this moment, happened for this moment to happen.
Like even if you're the most cynical, skeptical person on Earth, in the entire Universe, ever, you found your reason to believe in infinity.
Like even if you're the most pragmatic, rational person on Earth, in the entire Universe, ever, you start to believe in something, that was beyond your grasp, that is beyond logic and comprehension, something else takes over.
And there's nowhere else in the world where you wanna be.
Except right there,
right then,
with this exact person.
But all it takes is a little bit of rational thought for everything to lose its magic.
Suddenly reality comes speeding in,
the world zooming back into focus. Everything fall into place.
And here are you.
And that, there, is someone else.
Separated by all kinds of separation possible.
And you know that certain forces,
But then why should we care?
Why should I care?
Why should you care?
Why should ANYONE care?
我很知道,這世道,沒有誰少了誰就活不了.
難道真要過盡千帆皆不是,
才會醒覺自己的後悔.
誠實面對.如果沒有你,
幸福還有沒有意義.
如果我可以忘記.
如果我可以放棄.
如果沒有如果.
我陳恩嬌,我人生標榜著只要吃喝玩樂不要束縛不要煩惱的陳恩嬌怎麼也會這麼感傷呢?
還是安妮寶貝說得最好.
有些事情是可以遗忘的,
有些事情是可以纪念的,
有些事情能够心甘情愿,
有些事情一直无能为力.
[而至於我永遠說不出口的那些事.]
这是我的劫难.
為甚麼世界這麼大,
卻偏偏要遇上誰或誰.
為甚麼世界這麼小,
小到想逃,
卻無處可逃.
锦瑟无端五十弦,一弦一柱思华年.
就像是活在一場冗長的夢境.
無論走到哪裡.
都是你.
生活在別處.
都有你.
無論畫面是燦爛灰暗快樂難過.
I see you.
But,
那又怎樣.
啊我要去玩 Game 了. HOHOHO!One of the ultimate forms of entertainment,
for myself, on my own. ((=
VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE.My computer'd better be able to run this... ROARRR
---
不知道不明瞭不想要為甚麼我的心 明明是想靠近卻孤單的黎明
;rock YOU.
12:00 AM
