Wednesday, December 20, 2006
WOO, met up with NLL today.
To do homework, supposedly.
But both of us decided that it's simply too boring so we'll chat instead. =Pp
OMGGG,,,
then... Well it's seriously like a TV drama unfolding on a person close to me, in real-life, that it simply feels so dreamy, so unreal lar. GEEZ.
But I think it's just cool, anyways.
I mean, to me it's like whatever happens in life, happens.
Things that are outta your control...
You just gotta make the best out of it, haha! =DD
And we talked about our overseas trips respectively,
hmmhmm and discussed what made her so SEA. XDD Sound Effect Auntie.
WAHHH srsly it's kind of like my ideal lifestyle,
going out with different people for different activities.
Sometimes just for a chat.
I mean that's what the people around you are for, right???
GEEZ I think it's REALLY hard to be friends with people who have very different lifestyle habits from you and stuff. GEOGRAPHICAL DiStAnCe is so almost definitely the ultimate killer... ROARRR
But I figure it's like,
even if you know it's hard.
That's why you realise that you have to try even harder... I guess.
Maybe it's due to the very fact that keeping in touch is so difficult and that you still try to do so that makes it such that when you still hear from each other, am still glad to share things in your life with each other blah blah the more... COOL. HAHAHA! XDD
Anyways,
then I told her abt LXY too.
WOO I mean srsly, in JC, of all the people I've met and known she just felt special, like one who really stood out to me. (OMG I have to suppress the urge to vomit+puke big time as I type this.)
HMM, I don't really know.
But it's all in the vibes in the air, in the AURA around her I guess.
I think,
being with her is like,
being with IT peeps.
And the thing is,
in the entire OCIP camp, she's the only person who knows how to sing on the next line as I randomly threw out some line, for those ultra cold door songs.
And it happens all the time, from Chinese to English to Canto songs.
And everytime she could pull it off I'd be srsly WOAH!!! daooo because I think nothing beats cracking glass together with people you like (even though you never tell them), HOHO.
And blahblah, I could go on for quite a lot but I lazy to type too much lar... =Pp
HMMHMMMMM and I always like to tell her abt my friends this my friends that (referring to IT people) HAHAHA.
DUNNO eh.
I think it's just cool when you feel affinity for a person.
It's just all in the 4 letter word,
C O O L. XDD
WHEW
I hate studying man.
And I hate the fact that I hate studying because I BELIEVE I have the capability to do extremely well and yet me myself alone stand in the way, hinder my own road to success, ascension to acme... Whatsoever. ROARRR!!!
Maybe it's the hard things in life that make you learn.
But then I just keep on thinking,
it's almost as if I've lost grasp of time even as I aged in numeral figures all these years.
It's like every year feels the same,
endless homework and tests, the same dread replaying all the time, but then maybe I do make some mental/ psychological/ even philosophical progress in the way I look at things, perceive this world,,,Still at the end of the day it feels as if the way I am haven't changed one bit.
ROARRR is this what they call the Peter Pan Syndrome or whatsoever shit?
I don't know,
I'm sure there are, there have been changes.
But I just thought that somehow,
it just seems as if my future seems more nebulous, more uncertain, more questionable than ever now that I'm approaching that stage whereby I figure I would have ultimate control over my life.
It's as if the more you grow up the more you realise that you don't just operate as an individual, but really as part of a whole, and there are many bigger contexes you are part of against your best wishes, without you knowing it, just thrown upon you.
Blahblah,
it's like idealistically I feel that a single person's ultimate will and resolve and change the world.
But practically,
well,
life is just full of randomness.
With the birth of the Universe as the ultimate I figure.
Maybe I could self delude that well life has an ultimate meaning for everything by virtue of the fact that we're alive in this world, we're humans, we're thinking beings, we can do something.
But statistically speaking,
true enough the chances the possibility of the birth of the Universe and the origin of humans are minimal, but there's still the slightest chance, so it still had to happen somehow. Spontaneously. Out of no where. Just like that.
All of a sudden we're faced with all these human fabrications of love and hatred, career and leisure, family and friends... What when we started merely with the meeting of 2 genes or whatsover.
Life is just one BIG BIG BIG mystery to behold.
That leaves me feeling powerless at times.
What's going to become of this random but necessary birth of a homo sapien?
GOD figures.
WHEWWW
Go read book. =Pp
Maybe if life wasn't such a struggle I wouldn't be so proud of myself every living moment,
for existing despite thinking that it's meaningless shit. MUAHAHAOH, I THINK...I mean I AM,,,GOING to get a WEBCAM!!![
Meanwhile I need to srsly lose weight so that my face could fit the video window... <33]
;rock YOU.
9:41 PM
