Sunday, November 05, 2006
well , met @ aljunied mrt to go alan's hse for pw.
generally,
it was a really enjoyable day!
despite the dreadful nature of the purpose of the visit: our own dry-run 4 pw. LOLLL.
trix's group was latest.
so while waiting we started off the day by rehearing within our grp.
and then finally we started officially.
ran thru, comments, q n a. duh duh duh. HAHAHA it's pretty fun, and conducieve; when u do it with ur friends. LOLLL.
we played little fighter! ultra fun sia... =DD
i msut dl and train after tml. ;) ;) ;)
we were so so so noisy * infinity lar, LOLLL.
anyways,
once again,
had a great time chillin out with 203 peeps. ((=
i seriously think they're the single biggest bestest part of jc life. muahaha.
i think it's inevictable tt life has different destinations in store for us,
every single one of us.
our diff areas of study, then profession, then family slowly pulling us apart.
but even so,
many years from now on,
when i look back and reflect on a joyous and wonderfully fulfilled jc life,
it'll all be because of em. MUAHAHA.
true enough,
like my sec sch teachers say,
jc life is probably the toughest of all our academic years.
but once you grit ur teeth thru the suffering,
and when everything falls into place; i guess im still glad, thankful for all the pain & suffering (sounds sick) because with experience comes wisdom, and they make me learn how to deal and fight on even more betta.
so with every tough shit coming our way,
i still like to view it as a challenge and an opportunity for growth, a chance for me to face my vulnerabilities/ incapabilities...etc. so tt eventually i may become the person i envision myself to b, and work towards my dream of success bit by bit.
every step counts, tt's my basic position.
i think tt even if we are not borne great, gifted, blessed;
in a way we should appreciate the fact that this gives us greater incentive to improve ourselves. to say, rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and shine like supernova despite ur humble upbringings or whatsoever.
i dun think this world is distinctly divided into the haves and the have nots.
or rather, mayb we are just all a bit of both.
for eg. someone rich has wealth, but he may not have that kind of experience that one must go thru himself to really understand suffering, and have compassion for his fellow humans.
sometimes the haves are far too removed from the have nots to really appreciate the true value of what it is that they possess, and to make full use of it. i mean, it's like, it's not their fault that the sufferings of the poor are seemingly becoming increasingly transparent...because the idea of poverty just dun seem clear or barely "existable" to u if all ur life's been comfort.
because even i find this world a complete mystery, puzzling at best, almost all the time. @@
buttt
ok im lazy to think of a concluding statement for this yet so i'll jump to another topic LOLLL.
tml's truly the final final final ultimate final hurdle.
geez. i hope...or rather,,, i mean IM SURE we will all clear it beautifully. ((=
despite our lingering/ prevailing fear,
i think there are times when u just dun enjoy the benefit of doubt.
or rather, you SIMPLY have to b confident despite all else. sometimes things just work tt way i guess.
it's just like when u're stuck in a desperate situation/ position in life,
and you can either choose to moan and groan abt it forever, drown in ur sorrow and self-pity;
or realise that you really have no other option than to pick urself up and fight on.
cuz crying forever simply aint gonna help things,
by a bit,
by a puny bit,
by a tiny tiny teeny weeny bit, AT ALL.
i think tt's one of my most fundamental and greatest lesson from young,
from very very young.
sometimes i find it really saddening, cuz i think it would b good to grow up in a bed of roses and think this whole life is one fairytale with a CONFIRMED happy ending, a knight with shining armour/ a prince on a white horse who's confirmed gonna b there somewhere down the road and who'll shelther you, take u thru thick and thin.
but sometimes reality simply don't offer tt kind of simplistic comfort, at least to me,,, i guess.
and to live life tt way would b to be deprived of the supreme pleasure of undergoing suffering MUAHAHA as suggested by proust, or something.
as much as sufferings hurt,
at the end of the day they make you grow. as long as u take steps to deal with em.
and they make me feel alive, enriched, am maturing, etc. more or less. WISENED up. definitely.
i just feel so...pensive on rainy days.
if u're feeling really really down then there's no where else for u to go except up.
unless u allow urself to stay there forever.
i think wad i read in books were true,
most of us are still slaves in one way or another,,,even though we live in all these democratic countries.
because to b really free,
it is more than a decree by law,
for example the freedom of speech requires one to know wad words to use, how to use em appropriately, choose from things to tok abt. etc. things tt are to b cultivated consciously in and of ourselves after we have been endorsed with the freedom of self-expression...
there is therefore the tendency to lapse back into government dogma/ religious doctrine because they tells us wad to say/ think/ do/ feel. etc. and we become slaves to these things because we find the familiar so much easier to dealt with, we find the 'restriction' it places us in much easier to cope with; rather than the endless possibilities freedom give rise to, and wher e we are almost faced with decision-making constantly which can really wear down our minds.....blah blah. i think in some DIVINE fashion or whatever, this is the idea of what they mean when they say our greatese fear is not tt we are inadequate, but tt we are powerful beyond measure too.
more often than not,
we are afraid of the notion of freeing ourselves because to do so requires a lot a lot a lot a hell lot of other things i cant really go into now cuz my mind's workin on its own =Pp
im not an optimistic person by nature.
but im FREE. and i chose to b optimistic+remain positive even if the whole world comes crashing down on me. ((= because by logical deduction and reasoning, i realise tt the benefits of being optimistic far far far outweighs letting urself wallow in ur own sorrow.
of cuz, i wouldn't have been able to make tt choice if i hadn't had all the memories+experiences i had, the lessons i learnt.
and most of all,
a supremely clear state of mind tt all my life i want to b happy and successful.
i want to b a free soul,
a marginalised individualist @ heart but fittin in well with the mainstream pple as well.
because ultimately, if u want things to change in this world, u want to change people's mindsets; u have to work with the majority, u have to inspire and provoke that change in and of itself among the crowd.
my island is within me,
but i still enjoy frequent contact with the external world as a normal human being. ^.^
i think living is a delicate balancing act btwn extremes,
and knowing WHEN to just veer off course to break away frm the conventional to uncover new areas+aspects in life.
all in all,
being a modern human boils down to choice,
@ ur personal level.
to b free or not to b? --- tt's the question. =Pp
and sometimes i almost feel as if so long as u've asked this question,
u r a free person. already.
and dwelling into this would b far too philosophical, i guess. @@
---
hmmm
searching for an appropriate blogskin for a change. =Pp
i wanna play sims 2 , ff 12, grandia iii, shadow hearts: from the new world and BULLY lar!!!
aargh.
save money save money save money.
GO GO GO!
rock da hse tml. ((=
;rock YOU.
6:10 PM
