Friday, November 17, 2006
Actually,
I really think JC life to me so far in summary is: GREAT.
Wonderful. Enjoyable. Blah blah. =Pp
I think what Miss Khairani told me was right lor,
cuz that time some time long long ago I saw her with Demon I was like,
expressing my concern that I heard JC life would be tough and stuff.
You know, things like making friends and all.
Then she told me there's no worries,
cuz by JC time you already know who you ARE,
and you are sure to be able to find all sorts of diff. people and find those whom you can get along with,
then as long as you make sure you are friends with people who are say enthusiastic abt sch life instead of that minority bunch in every sch that goes 'omg [insert name of sch] sucks'... JC life would be fine, despite the much much heavier academic loads.
Then Mr Lee also told me JC must be very involved in a lot of activities ahhh,
so I tried to listen,
I tried to follow lor.
And my conclusion is,
there have been really bad times.
But I love my JC life. ((= And it's like 101% because of the people I know. HOHO!
And I love the fact that I love myself,
and that I'm sure, I'm positive that, life can only get better.
Because like Miss K said, by JC time you would already have a firm sense of self-identity already, more or less.
I think I have lived through the worst years of my life already,
you know that transitory phase with all the teenage angst and stuff.
ERMMM I think they are right in a certain when they say that immature people will die for say, honour/ glory/ blah blah.
But MATURE people will live on, survive on, get-by with even a measly job and a hopeless condition of life, even with humilation or something.
If I was really immature I would have commited suicide just to escape all those emotional roller-coasters/ deep deep valleys/ lightless alleys and stuff.
But now I will just live on and fight on no matter what happens.
Because I know that you will always learn something from a day,
every day is another day closer to my ideal life. And stuff. =Pp
And I realise that I feel the exhilaration of being alive only when I do the right new things and meet the right new people,
I can't stand stagnancy and the ordinary...
So all I can do is get as involved as possible to increase my chances of landing in the right activity which will really give me that adrenaline rush! XDD
I love the period of JC life in that I have never been more sure of myself than ever before.
Maybe somehow somewhere I still feel like I have no self-confidence and low self-esteem...
Maybe, maybe.
But still,
at the end of the day I will always strive to make my life a happy one and never indulge in despair.
It's like I never take more than a day to recover from really down moods.
Then I just feel emotionally blank rather than feeling sad/ down cuz I know that I just need some time to get back on track again and I know I am capable of pulling this off real fast.
BLAH BLAH.
I think JC life is good.
I look forward to Uni,
to landing in MY faculty and doing MY thing.
I look forward to working,
to finally having the means of shouldering my necessary responsibilities+be a truly truly truly sincerely faithfully independant adult who can help others whom I feel like helping.
I think life is really, just like that.
And nobody else has the power to change your life other than you yourself.
Nobody can make you feel bad without you giving them the consent to do so...
Then academically speaking,
actually,
to me, I get stressed due to the fact that I have HIGH expectations and set HIGH standards for myself. And I do I can achieve so so much and YET my laziness forever hinders the way.
Although it IS really stressful,
I have to say that I like the CHALLENGE.
WOO ADRENALINE RUSH again.
I think something JC life really start to ignite in me is the FLAMES of competitiveness,
or a better word would be self-fulfillment/ self-realisation/ self-perfection.
Prior to it I really couldn't care less cuz I didn't have a good sense of who I am and what I want.
But now I have a nebulous image of the person I wanna be and the things I wanna do,
and it kind of makes my battle spirit come to life. =Pp
I know my results are far from fabulous.
But I NEVER ever,
for a single mmt,
doubted my intelligence;
or the CONFIRMwithCHOP+gurantee self-envisioned+self-predicted fact that I'll get all As for A' Levels. XDD MUAHAHA!!! (arrognant, almost,,,i know)
I think a person is NOTHING without a dream,
an inspiration,
an aspiration...
And I WANT to be SOMEBODY.
YOU KNOW
so my conclusion is
ALwAYS & FORVER BELIEVE in urself. Dare to DREAM, Do YOUR thing, LOSE yourself and *beep!* the rest of the world, the other people.
;rock YOU.
6:10 PM
