Tuesday, October 10, 2006
WAAA sian.
BAD day*infinity.
Woke up late.
When my mom woke me up at 11 I was like FREAKED-out.
And as I went to have my face washed got yelled at. GREAT.
I'm used to it so I just kept silent.
And when I went into my room I slammed the door,
I admit it could be due partly to my irritation. But then my door had to be slammed to be shut, you know, get what I mean.
Then there goes that idiot with her leg half in a coffin yet not remedy-ing her ways coming in and giving me an extensive lecture.
GREAT.
I think they should be thankful I'm so not into them lar,
as in. I can't even be bothered to argue/ scream/ shout/ TRY to reason with them.
Because geniuses or at least NORMAL people have no compatible frequency for communication with I'msotemptedtousebeasts idiots for effective communication.
Let's just say I'm real pissed...
I hate people who are fierce. SERIOUSLY.
If you don't like someone can't you just leave him/ her alone!?!?!?
And just walk your separate ways, lead separate lives for all I care.
It's like, THANKS lar.
I just can't help but feel that I don't belong when I look all around me.
HMM.
It's like,
kids with a background like mine should be joining gangs, doping, wasting their life away for shit now.
What I'm really annoyed abt,
is none other than the fact that families extend such a great amount of influence over us.
When I look at people who grew up with happy loving parents who are confident and smart I tell myself I wanna be like them. Cuz if you are not, you are otherwise, then you would be looked down @ and left behind.
But when I look at people with perfect families who aim to do so much in life I tell myself I have to do much much better. Cuz nobody's gonna watch my back for me. I don't care abt em in Singapore, but I want my family in China to get the best that they can.
Because in the 21st century, nobody cares about losers anymore.
No unemployment benefits. You want a job? Look for it yourself. Can't find? Equip yourself with better skills yourself. Everybody's holding a degree? Then get a Docterate. People before you have all the experience in the whole, people after you's taught better. Alright. Still there is nothing else to do except better yourself, yourself.
All I know is that I have been brought up successfully with the belief that,
you have to push on no matter what.
Because if you fail you would just be stampede all over,
nobody's going to give a damn because we've all got our own problems to deal with man.
People can listen,
but what do they really understand? - When they're not you, and they don't go through the things you go through.
I'm like,
ultra bleak on loads of things man.
So I tell myself I have to be happy abt the little things.
YEAH right.
It's just like damn sad lar.
Being a minority in a majority system.
You see ah, people with good families and decent parents realise the importance of an education, and their parents have all the resources to get whatever that they want. High standard of living, and high quality of life. Because they are civilised.
And when you have higher income it's easier for you to accumulate wealth, and etc.
Knowledge is a powerful thing because it generates billions of positive externalities,
and you can pass it down the family.
So once the top is good,
the family's more or less in a good shape.
So,
forever it's like... The poor gets poorer, the rich gets richer.
And nobody's too free to care abt equality when you have self-interest to pursue everyday, when there is itnense competition btwn all the different economic agents all the time.
So it still boils down to, count on yourself and no one else.
But it's like,
can't I just relax, take a break for once?... Like everyone else?
But then.
Because you are not so like everyone else to start with,,,
there's no luxury of such thoughts I guess...
I don't know,
that's why I really love my friends,
as in, hanging out with them I guess.
Because they make me feel like I am just another optimistic and happy idiot living in this world.
Like everyone else, yet distinctly different. An average teen who's just slightly over herself. =Pp
Cuz I just have the feeling that...
If it wasn't for the people around me,
I would not not only MENTALLY cynical.
I'm most probably gonna ruin/ destroy my own life as a gesture of venting my frustration at this world...
They keep me in check!
Not to mention my logic and reason to.
If people are complete nutheads there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm not going to bother with them I don't talk to them my house is like a hotel...
But I know who are those that matters to me.
And that's all I care about.
Because I never liked life, this world, this "family", buttheads, idiots, etc. anyway.
Whateverrr lor.
I don't understand idiots.
Thanks for all the pain you put me through because I just am going to grow up to be such a strong person.
Thanks for being such an idiot because it'll remind me to not to be an idiot to people next time because I hate idiots and I wanna be as far away from people I hate as possible.
I mean.
Life can be sucky for all that I care.
But nobody's going to stop me from winning in the end. I simply will.
Because I believe, and I know it.
At the end of the day I think it boils down to having faith in people (this I need loads+loads of help with) and having faith in yourself (which I'm absolutely fine with).
Like Michael Jordan said,
if there's a wall in your way, don't turn.
Think of ways to climb over it, go through it, etc.
HMMM
it's like.
I know I am NOT an angel to start with.
But so? At least I speak reason. I talk sense.
And I reciprocrate instead of hypocrate. (spelling...)
Because the very notion of smiling in front of people who disgusts me DISGUSTS mex2.
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ALRIGHT.
I'm going out. I hate looking at idiots @ 'home'. =Pp
I know I'm supposed to go PW,
it'spart of my responsibility.....
But just let me chill it for once...
I'm trying to do the best that I could.....
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sorrie hor chio bu. =___=
;rock YOU.
11:57 AM
