Saturday, June 03, 2006
WEE! Went to Weiming's house yesterday.
Had a really WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL gReAt time.
It was exactly what I needed after an entire week of shit.
This entire week has nothing but shit, sheer shittiness at its peak and pure as can be, geez.
It's like,
my mind was really free of all those cumbersome thoughts, dreadful remorse, and pangs of guilt, for once larrr.
I loved the evening, the dinner, the singing, the laughing, the crapping and talking, making noise.
LOL.
Weiming's like damn funny can.
I think he's one of those rare people who has time for loads of things,
loads of things that I wished I would be able to pursue myself, or something.
He's like a Hwa Chong guy.
And he knows calligraphy, drawing and painting, has 3 CCAs and etc. etc. Exercises 30+ hours a week...
CRAZY right.
I'm simply amazed by how he can do this much. @.@
I seriously find him a really enjoyable company lar.
In the sense that, I always find naggy friends, people of my age who naggg like ah mah ah behs damn funny. Some people just have the power of making me go,
RELAX larrr, so kan cheong for what? You're amusing me... =P Though such characteristics can kind of really get on my nerves when transferred to other people, for example my mom. @.@
Wa lieu.
And he seems to know everything lar.
After we finished dinner we were like sitting round the dinner table and talking.
And we were so like,
DON'T GET HIM STARTED.
Geez.
OMG, but I'm truly amazed Henrietta and him know Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Descartes, John Stuart Mill... etc..... Names of people that I constantly come into in my readings. ((=
COOL lar!!!Oh man.
I really should have taken KI.
Like Miss K say, if you truly love and have the passion for something, you'll find fun just doing and reading about it all the day.
I just feel so tired. And sian daooo now. IDIOT larrr.Anyways there was Henrietta, Joseph, Joyce, Shi Hua, Weiming, Xin Yan and me larrr.
HOHOHO.
He was even like showcasing his collection of drinks.
And I'm so tempted to get... errr, drunk.
I took this 21% alcohol coconut rum diluted with some Doremy white grape juice, 2~3 glasses of it. ((= My first leh. Omigosh.
I've always been secretly looking forward to the losing inhibitions part of getting drunk, HEHHEH, wonder how it feels like.
I think it took sometime to start a temporary effect in me.
Cuz after drinking,
when we went inside his room to sing K...
There was a brief period when I was like sweating and feeling hot despite the air-con, and then I could feel my face flush. @.@ And yeah lar, somehow I was just laughing real loud and stuff for nothing...
But I still had my consciousness 'K!
HMM I think my alcohol capacity like not bad leh! HEEx.
OMGomg I really love it lar.
Cuz I REALLY TOTALLY lose what's been bothering me for ages man.
Sky arh.
I love alcohol, WOO!
就我很乖很理智很正直,可是我要健康地頹廢,健康地墮落.
賭博很刺激,可是要健康.
喝酒很好玩,可是要健康.
I'm pleasure seeking. Anyways.
Cuz happiness as in a state of mind, the Aristotlean view, doesn't work for me. Not at all.
So I pursue pleasure, happiness as a mere feeling. Fleeting.
Totally enjoyed myself...
Took taxi home. =X
Cuz my last bus was gone lar. Idiot daooo.
And it's like after we left his house, bunch of us was chasing after 235.
That damn driver lar.
We ran all the way, as I was running I couldn't even see the bus-stop up ahead lar.
We ran and we ran, my bag was like damn bulky, and I had a stupid magazine in my hands, and that bus just left like that. KNS him leh that idiot.
Geezzzzz.
Last night was the greatest time I've had for as long as I can remember.
Like I said it's been a shitty week.
It's like, the moment I stepped into MJ on Thurs...
It just felt so wrong.
So freaking wrong;
that I was really compelled to leave school.
Geez.
I mean.
You won't ever understand...
Unless you ever built your entire world, envisioned all your goal, dream and aspiration;
towards something.
And in the end.
Well this story doesn't even have a beginning.
It's like all along I'm like I couldn't care if few people I know are going THERE.
I couldn't care if it's super English.
I couldn't care if I may end up super lonely there.
I couldn't care if it's damn stressed, super stressed.
I couldn't care if I'm last of the class.
I couldn't care if I have to study non-stop just to pass.
I couldn't care less about anything else, except that I really want to be there, from don't know since when, to FOREVER. And FOREVER means EVER.
I mean the DAMNest thing is that it's not like I'm not even GOOD enough???
If I knewww, if I even ever see that coming...
Idiot lar,
I should have put in more effort.
I hate it.
Knowing there's so much one can accomplish.
I really believe that being a top student is nothing lar.
It doesn't take a genius to know that all you need is hardwork, sincere, concentrated, focused hardwork. No IQ involved if you ask me.
Then why can't I?
Or rather, why won't I?
God works in mysteriously miraculous ways.
I've never doubted my own intelligence. (HEEHEE!!!)
But, yeah, he kept that in check with hopeless lazyness and the inability to be persistent...
It is this very knowledge that totally pisses me and irritates myself all the time.
Knowing you can do so much.
Yet achieve so little.
Feel super unmotivated now, I hate studying man.
But I'll pick myself up.
I'll make sure I do.
I'm just a last-minute worker, it's in my blood.
I feel like giving it up, hecking and not giving a damn...
But I won't ALLOW myself to do so.
I want my all As and Distinctions for A' Levels.
I want to live up to MY OWN expectations;
and feel proud, TRULY, for once, for what I have done and accomplished with
undivided effort.
As the school I'm in,
everything around me; tells me now...
O'levels is not good enough.Can't believe it man...
It's really like the worst to have happened in my life. It's the WORST to me because I MADE it happen. I was the one to blameee for all this shit, only me and myself at fault - DAMN!!!
Anyways off to eat food + play Sims 2 + watch Jin Zhi Yu Nie (Power and Beauty).
Some HK ancient drama about a bunch of girls fighting for attention from the Emperor.
Ever since I read that book about Modernity, I'm like...
How can people in the past tolerate with being called things like servant and being ordered around all the time ah? - GEEZ.
And they think it is absolutely right, common sense to do so somemore lar MY GOD.
Anyways my 感想 is that girls are terrible, horrible, hell creatures. @.@
Kong3 bu4 daooo.
It's like at least man fight openly, I stab you you slash me.
Whereas for woman...
They smile at you, they charm you, you think they like you.
Then once your back is turned, OMGOMG see how that beautiful face gets twisted and contorted immediately.
When you die at the hands of a man you die openly, fair and square.
But with woman you never know why. Or even how.
Okok off on my endless pursuit of pleasure...
I want my studies to be the single most important thing now.
But there are so many things that I can't just chuck aside;;; I for once cannot give up my love for playing and slacking... Going out, hanging out and wasting time with friends... HMM.
;rock YOU.
11:41 AM
