Monday, June 05, 2006
Just thought I'd blog a little before I move on to slacking + studying (I have to!!!).
Ehh anyways on Sunday right...
First of all I went with Xuan's senior to O'Joy Care Services.
I thought it was kind of interesting and a refreshinggg experience at first cuz I've never quite went on such visits.
But as the man there talked on and on, my attention couldn't help but drift away.
Geez. He's like feeding us with all these details, nitty-gritty details. And I just switched off lar.
My attention span is like... PaThEtIc.
Afterwards I went Bugis to meet peeps...
Passed Tubao her stuff... Sat for a while..... Seat was barely warm and I'm off already, LOL.
Went home first, to dump my bag...
And had a change of clothes, but end-up like, still feeling quite hot. As in literally hot, temperature high and you start sweating that type of hot.
HAHA whatever larrr.
Then went to Toa Payoh...
Went to Wei Min house again...
Somehow it just felt like damn long although I've been there just 2 days ago, last Friday. LOL.
ERRRRR
Then this time there was Shi Hua, Xin Yan, Henrietta, Wei Min, me and Xavier was the latest.
Basically we sat, ate, and talked.
Really talked a lot lar.
And the contents are not even like, "nutritious". But I love it man! HAHAHA...
It's like every one sentence a little laugh, every three sentence a ROARING laugher.
Xavier was like LITERALLY zheng3 ge4 ren2 rolling on the floor once, I forgot why larrr...
But the entire day was like damn fun lar! HOHOHO.
Oh man I love this FEEL like don't know what.
Sitting round the dinner table, having home-cooked food, talking chatting and crapping, then when all's said and done wine will be served. ;) And doing all this in a friend's house with no adults around. Just a group of crazy teenagers, LOL.
If I could, if my house was neat and had enough stuff to entertain people, plus I live on my own, I would love to invite my friends for dinner/ lunch/ anything everyday anytime man.
But reality check huh. Sho sad.
But luckily at least got people's house to go to, LOL.
And like last time,
I was like eating, and drinking people's ALCOHOL, while Wei Min's parents are away...
Under the close scrutiny of Wei Min's family portrait. LOL. Directly opposite of me.
Like whoever said it,
basically it was really cool lar.
We were like a bunch of twenty plus thirty plus friends who have this reunion dinner or something all of sudden, years and years after we've last seen each other.
And eating plus drinking away.
And everyone was like anticipating the alcohol, LOL.
So I was like, maybe if we have such gatherings 10 years from now on when we see each other... We will just each grab a bottle and drink away. HAHA. At this rate... =P
Oh!
Then this time we had what we had last time.
And tried it with Pineapple Juice also.
I had more glasses this time round...
And my last time it's a mixture of 40% alcohol Bacardi or something, the coconut rum, pineapple juice and white grape juice. COOL arh.
HAHAHA I really think my enzyme for breaking down alcohol damn good damn efficient larrr.
I think we spent over 2 hours just sitting, talking, and eating at the dinner table.
AAAHHHHH. Super fun daooooo. LOL.
Anyways, then Xavier was my fellow... Rejected/ Dejected Victorian, LOL.
I don't know if it's better/ worse that way, but he was at VJ for the first 3 months and now in AJ.
But anyways,
MY GOD.
I was really like yao3 ya2 qie4 chi3 when I thought of all those endless possibilities...
Why didn't I appeal for ARTS stream!? (since my SCIENCE really sucks anyways)... With a raw score of 8 this one should be really confirm can get in bah... If I APPEALED.
But no, I was so saddened and disappointed with my posting already I wasn't in the mood to really go all out to try... I only tried my luck with SCIENCE, obviously it wasn't enough.
Why didn't I put ARTS as my first choice!?!?!?
People got into Arts and appealed for a change of stream, successfully. Jian4 daooo. I mean, in VJ it's really easy to change classes as and when you like... From all that I've heard. Stupid larrr.
Wa lieu. I mean, we can really empathise with each other cuz it's like...
Both of us put VJ SCIENCE, VJ ARTS as first and second choice respectively. :'( :'( :'(
It's like pouring salt over a wound. ERRRM you know.
Then there was once when we touched upon the topic of IP students...
Instantly two of us raged.
And we REALLY screamed lar. SCREAMED until a standard the roof can fall off.
Such that even Wei Min who said his neighbours won't mind us making noise was like super kan cheong... LOL.
Wa lieu.
Really lor.
It's like the very thought of IP students taking up all those spaces, and end-up I can't even go to VJ with my raw scoreeeee... OMG my blood BOIL+BECOME STEAM instantly man.
AARGH!!!
Then we were like.
Don't mention the name of that JC in front of us.
Don't even use THE letter.
NONONO.
I just couldn't help but realise that I made the darnest and most idiotic and most stupid mistake of my life with my JC selections...
And aftermath.
This is living evidence+proof that you should never make decisions when your emotions are turbulent... Cuz you'll just think stupid, act stupid, do stupid things, come up with idiotic decisions that leave you feeling like shit in the end.
IDIOT larrr.
I know it's no use crying over spilt milk.
What's done cannot be undone.
So don't try to feed me this shi... faeces. Oops.
I mean.
For my first 3 months,
on my way to TJ every morning...
As I passed by VJ,
OMGOMG a wave of ultra deep sorrow REALLY wash over me.
At times I REALLY can feel my eyes water and I so feel like crying cuz it's so shitty lar.
Because I'm DESPERATE, always, forever and ever for that dream college.
If my life is a movie.
One of the biggest failure, HIGHLIGHT, must use te4 xie3 jing4 tou2 de scene will be the day of the posting man.
Laugh laugh laugh in cinema.
Then as I walk home on my own.
Without warning, without cue, the tears just flowed.
It's like OMG.
I must say I hate crying.
I detest the notion of it.
Cuz crying doesn't help; anything at all.
But the one thing that can set my tap running instantly is just a single thought of THAT JC.
My gosh.
AHHH.
Enough.
I'm learning how to deal.
But the pain will never go away. I'll just learn to live with it.
Every schooling day, every doing of homework, every studying... A constant reminder of how I have failed, of how I'm in deep shit.
After that we sang, as usual.
In the middle of my singing my mom actually called me and went on and on about drinking, cuz the other day she heard my phone conversation (KNS). But really I wasn't listening I was just like yayayaya whatever whatever and then I hang up.
I can't stand it when people who don't understand me, or at least have a notion of what's going on in my mind bugs me.
I know what it is I'm doing... And this is my life, I'll live it the way I want it.
Even if nothing good comes out of it in the end,
at least it's my own choice and I know I have no one to blame except myself.
It's like...
I'm thinking it takes a lot of courage to really be a youth delinquent or something.
You have to admire them for that. Putting your own future at stake.
Well anyways so I'm just hoping I don't ever have enough courage to do that.
I'm just pinning my rationality (however little of it may remain when shit keeps on happening) will keep me in place.
Cuz the little bit of rationality I have tells me that, well, there IS a better way to living. And I better seek it. Studying is meaningless, life is meaningless, but so long as I'm living, the acting, the lies, the deceit, it must all go on. I'll find my true peace in eternal sleep. But till then, life is a struggle.
Managed to catch the last bus though, HEEx.
But anyways I'm really amazed by their power of memory.
Cuz I really remember very little of anything beyond 2/3 days.
So I'm so like WOAHHH... Can't remember. =X
HMM.
I love this kind of outings lar.
Get to do all my favourite things in one shot.
Eat, talk, drink, have fun, chill... And it feels like a family cuz you're doing all this at HOME. LOL.
Anyways I so feel like learnign Electric Guitar...
The other day I saw some advertisement for this one and only rock school in Sg and it's like sho cool daooooo cannot tahan.
HMM...
Whatever leh, gotta clear up loads of other things first anyways.
GOSH.
I love to procrastinate and delay...
Do things at the last minute...
Okie off to TV.
I love TW shows! WOO!!!
Oh yeah.
It's like, OMG I love the way I speak Chinese lar.
Cuz it's very un-Singaporean. HAHAHA. I think I'm heavily influenced by all those TWnese (while retaining my good Chinese from China) programmes... HMMhmm!
But maybe that's why my English kind of sucks too.
But whatever leh.
I love all kinds of music including Chinese music I love talking in Chinese MOST of ALL (isn't it just fun???) I love reading English+Chinese books I'm so gonna ban1 back home or go TW/ HK next time. mUaHaHa.
I'll die and suffocate in an environment of English man... (THAT JC is another thing.)
OFF!!!!!
;rock YOU.
6:52 PM
