Saturday, May 13, 2006
... =.=
Such poses are REALLY dAmN hard to pull off lar.
You need TOUGH hand muscles. LOL!!!
OMG I love doing CIP with friends! =DWoo-hoo-hoot, back from some Save Our Earth, Clean And Green recycling project.
I really love CIP lar.
To me the GREATEST draw factors in descending order is:
You get to do something DIFFERENT with your friends.
You help people as you have a brand new experience.
There are CIP hours.
((=
Woo-hoo-hoot!!! =D
Jiu I really love my hp okaees.
And I REALLY like to have a record of everything and all.
Because MEMORIES DO fail me. VERY extremely terribly.
It was tiring, but fun.
Let's initiate our own Overseas CIP some time!!! ;)
I think Malaysia would be cool lar.
But BEST would be...
Let's go HAINAN and plant crops. I wanna plant crops. =D
Help out with my ERM... Grandma and grandpa. HAHAHA. :P
Can tuition ENGLISH for my relatives in Cheena also...
OMG what a GREAT idea!!!
HAHAHA.
Afterwards I hanged around in Tampines with Egg Tart & Mud.
Then I went for PW meeting.
Then YT went LAN.
Then I told Mud to come CS Long John.
Cuz I wanted to tell her: OK you may go le. When she came. =P
And that,
I did.
HAHAHA!
Afterwards, I went to the library on my own for some book-hunting.
OMG I love libraries.
I love being surrounded by books. Feel the roughness of the cover. Breathe in the SMELL of ancient titles rotting away. Your eyes savouring the sight of all this stacks of paper lining neatly on the shelves, waiting for you to pick 'em up and learn what they're about...
I had to exercise all the self-restrain I have to borrow ONLY:
一切歸零
- A collection of short stories by all this brilliant young new authors.
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell.
- Some story in fictional UK, with a Totalitarian (hope I spelt it correctly...) system whereby the Big Brother watches over everything.
The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.
- Some story about vampires I think. Spanning and interweaving many generations/ decades of like, father followed the trails of Dracula, then daughter picked up where he left off. Stuff like that.
Everything I Know I Learned From TV by Mark Rowlands.
- Philosophy For The Unrepentant Couch Potato.
Book uses TV shows like Sex And The City to explain the great questions of Philosophy that affects our lives, like How do you define what is a good life to lead? What does it mean to have responsibilities? Where does love end and friendship begin?...
Psychology For AS Level by etc. etc... =P
- Basically just another field that I'm venturing into in my readings.
With things like Cognitive Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Physiological Psychology, Individual Differences, Social Psychology and Research Methods.
But really, I'm most interested in stuff like Applied Psychology. And how Psychology answers the questions of why we are who we are, why do we behave the way we behave, why do we think the way we think, etc...
WOO!
I love reading!But anyways.
I think I'm REALLY slacking on studies.
And I hate this...
Feel kind of really sian-ed by it.
And so much distractions these days.
DA VINCI CODE!!!
Anyways I think my stress is just laying dormant under a cool surface lar.
HMMhmm. But deep down, the troubles are scheming a MAJOR overrule, till all hells break loose.
I think a VERY major aspect of life is learning to stand on your own. Scrape yourself up when you fall down, when you cry inside you let your woes be drowned by your laughters.
But whatever leh.
No matter what happens.
Life goes on.
We've got to deal.
I can only savour the moment.
Turn a blind eye to all my negativities.
Seek joy and wonder from the simplest things in life.
總是會不經意地想起... 窗外 傷感跌落成一地的濕意
想念的 走進記憶 記憶里 眷戀的 回不去
我面無表情地望著年華交織 時空交錯 暗湧的失控
...接不下去 =.=就我幾百萬年沒動道華文了唄!!!
Anyways somehow it REALLY dawns upon me JC life's been really harsh on loads on people.
Wish there was more I could do.
But I'm just not cut for this type of things larrr.
I mean, I've been a selfish person ALL my life.
I look out for myself. That's your speciality when you're an only child.
I'm trying. And I would love to be able to helppp.
Though I must confess it irritates me in a way when people complain and grumble non-stop. I really hope there is SOMETHING, ANYTHING I can do to REALLY give them a kick in the ass so that people will just be POSITIVE and go ahead and do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, anyway.
Be proactive in walking out of their misery, as in, you know. REALLY have the realisation that you can ONLY help yourself.
With friends always there for support.
At leasttt... ERR, that's what I think lar.
And I won't say it's exactly right.
But that's just MY take on things.
Anyways.
I don't mind being irritated by a friend.
The greater irritation comes from listening to all thoseeeee things and not knowing what you can do to help.
Like I said... I REALLY don't know how larrr. >.<
就我也沒有多少人生智慧.
而且我承認我為人極其沒良心.而且我很不愛問.
因為我怕尷尬.怕別人尷尬也怕自己杵在那裡很蠢.
我希望你們可以理解...
對於一個獨生子女來說:
你覺得怎樣?難過嗎?有甚麼話可以對我說哦...
諸如此類的話有多肉麻做作噁心.惡道一個極點.一個頂端.一個我本人很默默希望可以克服的一件事物.因為別人似乎都沒有這個煩惱.只是有些東西變成了本質的一部分就不可能改變了.
就比如一下子blog了這麼多嚴肅比較*真誠*的東西足夠我...幾百萬年食不知味了.
就我能offer的只有我的冷靜我的深沉我的時間我的熱愛邊吃飯邊聊天.
只要有話題.任何話題偶都ok.就我最近有很隱約地懷念我熱愛的S.H.E
不知為何.
自從我第一次聽到她們這樣唱靜止.就很熱愛那個音樂那個畫面.
發瘋的三個人...不知道為甚麼.那個畫面給我最直接的印象就是快樂.很單純.很簡單.很直接.很透徹的快樂.
就我懷念的不只是三個人.
而是
人生里的一個時期,一個階段.
那時候的自己.那時候的事物.那時候的人.
很簡單地把某些白痴的事當作全部的世界.
現在的我再也不會幼稚道一個不能再幼稚下去的境界.
現在的我再也不會為某些無聊的東西死命堅持拼命理論.
現在的我再也不會搞憤世嫉俗因為我知道成長就是改變自己以適應這個世界.
即使鄙視一切,也要假裝活得很樂意.否則會難過.
成長意味著人變得逐漸冷漠.不會感到快樂.也沒有難過.當然我是毫無表情的打著這些字.
因為我真不懂,我能擁怎樣的心情詮釋我當下的感覺,感受,感想.
也不過是人生.
也不過是努力活著的一個人.
也不過是為了自以為是的未來而故作勇敢.
就諸如此類的.
我真的毫無感覺.
WELL~學習去也.
感傷歸感傷.
莫大的悲哀還是做人得實在.
就我覺得人生就是兩極.天堂與地獄.幸福與痛苦.
我們一直前進.頭也不會地追逐所謂的幸福.上路.卻從來沒發覺.那是個永遠到達不了的彼岸.一切只是虛幻的假像.讓我們自以為活得實在,活得有意義.
只是若干年後.當我們的身軀都化成了塵埃.一生被風吹往遺忘的地址.
也許很久很久以後,就連地球.宇宙.都將歸零.
反正我的重點是人生沒有意義. Period.
It IS meaningless.
我一直在中間.一直在矛盾.一直在掙扎.一直在大聲地笑.一直在拼命地吵.一直在無聲地哭.
直道失去力氣.獨留無奈.直道沒有感覺.直道苟且.就算不願意.
還是自我催眠.
努力過好每一天.
因為我不甘願...
就整個entry的情感轉折很大有沒有.
只是對我而言,一切毫無意義.沒有情緒.真的.因為心里面住著哪些你很在乎的人.
看到別人的快樂和難過.
然後自己的煩惱相對的就變得渺小.
;rock YOU.
7:05 PM
