Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Finally things are sort of like starting to get better. GEEZ.In the morning today, Mdm Mariam passed me yet another piece of paper. I was so totally like; Wadda... What's the REACH Committee got for me this time!?
--- And then I saw the word C.A.M.B.R.I.D.G.E.And then I read on and it goes something like,
me of 06S203, was shortlisted to be part of this
Cambridge Reach Programme or something. My heart was so totally filled with glee when I see the words "
only from the top-tier of the college's student population...".
MUAHAHA.
It's like finally my decision to come Meridian ain't that bad afterall.
But the money part is... ERRR. $5000. School subsidising $500.
MJ's like damn poor lar. GEEZ.But anyways,
that's a good thing.
Because I happen to be very 鬱悶 over loads of things yet again, recently.
If only I worked a lil harder for Prelims;
If only I just improve my A Maths to A1... (But then the WORST thing is that I underperformed for this subject in the O'levels.)
I'm like filled with a kind of 無可奈何坦然地接受一切可還是忍不住感慨的狀態.Ever since I saw the VJ peeps last Friday.
I have always known that VJ is simply the place for me.
So it's like damn sad lar.And it's like when I look at my L1R5 the score is like screaming, shouting, shrieking: I'm a VJ-student-score!!!Even if I may end-up really stressed there, I don't mind at all.
My capacity for stress is one of the few things I hold as my pride, MUAHAHA!!!!!!!!
And the thing is a lot of shit happened in MJ.
It was kind of totally unlike what I anticipated.At first I came in, thinking, so this is a new school.
I am a pioneer batch. There are loads of things that I can do.
I thought it would be a really vibrant JC with its teachers working together with its students... Its students voicing aloud how they wanna shape their college and etc.
But basically all that I've experienced just refuted this so totally.They make me feel like we are mere tools to be exploited and useddd until cannot use anymore... So that they can build the school's reputation.It's not like I'm complaining.
Cuz I would LOVE to be stretched.
So that one day I may rise above all the rest mUaHaHa.But the way they do it just make me feel so sucky. GeEz.But then that's just life.
And I've learned a lot more about it ever since I entered MJ.
And so the grand plan of things DO work out afterall, as I've always believed.The only reason I'm here is that I'll grow to be the type of person that I'll BECOME, having studied here. And there's nothing GOODorBAD about changing. It's all about adapting and surviving.Ya.
So that's my point.
As I always say...
The amount of work I've done in these few weeks in MJ is like MORE than all my life's work combined.No kidding lar.It won't be a smooth ride ahead.
But I like the thrill of living yourself at the edge.
Even leisure time needs to be squeezed out of a tight schedule.
If you wanna catch a wink that'll be on the bus to/ home from school.So far the pace is still alright for me.Cuz there's no exam stress yet lar... HEEHEEEE.Exams are what really... Either forces or MAKES me take out what I've rEaLlY got.Oh and we had class debate today.
It was totally un-commentable larrr......Whole world expected it to be on Thurs lar... And we BARELY did our research.
Our team only had two pieces of research info. And 85% of mine cannot even be used.So it's such an amazing feat that we've won right!
But it's like... Cuz got me the BEST SPEAKER mah mUaHaHa.But REALLY hor.
This really goes to show how lousy the debate was. =XIt's like even when I was talking I've got this
inner voice;
Oh heck what are you saying CEJ? - What I was trying to convey was not EVEN clear to myself... And I totally don't understand my opponent's points... So I was just like trying my very best to piece together sensible sentences. ^.^Anyways I have to say the three months in TJ was really well-spent also lar.Somehow I just feel that my English's officially improved by leaps and bounds ever since I kept on going to all this new environments... And having to run here and there consulting teachers whole-day long.Good thing.
But I would love to be super ABLE in Chinese.
And I think I'm losing that. :( So :'(.Actually, my point is...
There always comes periods in life when everything sucks and you feel like shit.But when it's over,you'll be grateful that you lived through it all.
And learnt loads of great new things.
And matured as a person.
And etc.That's what life's all about to me.
It's MEANINGLESS!!! But it's really all about a journey of self-discovery and self-fulfillment...
Dadada.
etc. etc... That's all.
;rock YOU.
10:49 PM
